This poem was from a file created in 2010, and is about one of my close friends. I was 16.
They told me to let you go.
Will I? Can I?
I don’t want to want you
The same name as he with whom I shared my first
I won’t forget.
Bang on the arm, see you later.
Two hours travelling alone in the dark.
Rain trickles down into my hair.
I miss your smile, your deadpan snark.
Finger the paper inside my Chinese denim
A heart on the label, my heart on my sleeve.
Pull the zip between my fingers
The bracelet with the silver rings.
Black pen across your money, it’s mine.
Took it from you at seven thirty.
I’ll keep it here with the paper memories
And the photo behind my eyes.
I’m a little scared of losing you
Scared of doing what I’ll need to do
I’m sure that if I hold on long enough
I’ll stop wanting to try
I’ll disappear completely
Like the pink varnish on your pinky finger.